Changes?

Everyone told me that they changed a lot after studying abroad.
And study abroad prep programs warned me that there is a "reverse culture shock" when you go home and it might be frustrating being a new person in the old place.

I guess it's because I've heard from the experiences of others so much, that I had certain expectations.

It's only been three weeks, but it already feels like it's been a long time.

A combination of that and all the expectations have left me feeling...disappointed.
I know I shouldn't be, because it hasn't been very long yet.

I feel like I haven't learned any more Cantonese. When I'm tired it becomes really hard to comprehend and really hard to speak. I still make the same grammar mistakes and I haven't learned any new vocabulary that stuck.
I don't talk to too many locals in my daily life...and even when I do, we usually speak English. (Especially if we are in the company of non-Cantonese-speakers, it would be rude to leave them out.)

I also expected to get stronger. I expected to become a better, more open person. Instead I am still shy, still weak.

I can't expect to grow up over night, so time will tell.

Maybe I expected study abroad to be a kind of magic that would somehow transform me into the person that I wanted to be without the hard work, but we all know that's not true.

Well, not even a month has gone by, and I still have four months to go.